April 14, 2020


Written april 14, 2020

how have I forgotten to look at the stars for this long?

We live in a new world now. This oddly scares me considering the fact I used to loathe the one I was given before. Everyone was too busy, there was too many people, everyone was rushing places. Now look at us. It seems so silly to say, but be careful what you wish for. Now there is no business, people are dying quickly, and the streets are empty. I’ve seen people and friends posting on Facebook about how this is the world’s way of resetting. This was meant to happen because of climate change and the world was over populated and something about how introverts can finally have their chance. It’s so sad to think about the communication I had with my family before this. Or lack thereof. Being in quarantine is really not so different from my normal life, at least now I don’t feel so guilty about doing it. I feel myself less consumed with material things and more enamored with the fact that the neighbor below is having a smoke 10:30 A.M. instead of 9:00, probably because he slept in. The clockwork of the day begins with the sun beaming straight into my apartment, I can tell I overslept by how high it is in the sky. I go to sleep with the windows open because now there is no street noise from the Montmartre drunks at the bar across the street. It is silent, I feel like I can hear the clouds moving. The neighbor right across from me lives alone. She has seen me naked so I don’t blame her for only sticking her arm out twice a day to open and then close the window. I can hear her wash the dishes and at night see the blue flicker of her t.v. 

the couple across the street below her just moved in before all of this. They didn’t even have a chance to buy curtains. They are stuck with a red sofa and one chair. He sits on his computer all day and she on her iPad near the window. Occasionally she’ll move to the kitchen and wear her apron. She goes to sleep early and he stays up late on the computer. At 8:00 p.m. we all stick our heads out the window to clap for the medics and doctors on the frontlines.  Though most of the time the clapping starts at 7:58, I guess someone’s watch is fast. The claps have become quieter since daylight savings. I think people felt more comfortable to make loud noises in the dark. I love the idea of people shoving their heads through the windows like turtles after a long nap. Two minutes pass and we all go back to the lives we were living.

in my day there will be certain things that will always happen: I will burn myself in the sink because the water was hotter than expected, the cabinet door for the garbage won’t stick and slowly drift open and the last 1/4 of my coffee will remain not drank. There is a lot of pressure when you are forced to stay home. People expect new languages to be learnt, a novel to be written, and to organize that closet you never did, draw, learn a new skill. But that hasn’t and probably won’t happen for me. So far I have read three books and thought about how quickly the time is passing. In some ways, time has slowed down, in other ways it’s slipping through my fingers even more so than before. 

I have never been someone who was afraid to go outside, I rarely washed my hands, and embraced the herds of people in all my travels. Now I can’t go outside without anxiety. What has this virus made of the world? In slow times of thought I wonder what will come out of this. What new artists? What new discoveries? Who will create things that people won’t forget? I remember taking my first walk after quarantine was announced. I actually enjoyed Paris for the first time. I saw the Eiffel Tower with no influencers staggering over the other for a selfie, the arc de’triomphe with nothing but the eternal flame waving below. The metro was empty. A few days passed and I went out again, the world seemed sad. I found myself grieving for the world we had, knowing it will never return to how it was before. 

Books that Inspire and Inform my Photography

I’ve always wanted to do a quick blog post on books I look to to influence me in my photography. Today I was feeling particularly inspired as I called in sick to work and watched the rain part the clouds and bring in sun. Over the years of living in France, I first moved into my apartment with what seemed (at the time) very large and empty book shelves. I had only brought my favorite books over from the U.S. and I thought that there was no possible way I could ever fill these shelves. Now almost four years later and I’ve run out of space. As I travel more, I am exposed to more cultures and new things which generate interest for different subjects, as life goes. But in making the choice to document conflict and the effects of it, I always strive to understand not just what is happening but also why. From international relation theory, to “how to” books, to painters, to fiction and poetry is just some of the genres I’ll mention. I’ve always been a person to draw inspiration from all factions of life and I think this variety of books I’ll be recommending here will reflect that and find those that do the same. Some of these books have been gifted to me, some I have found wandering in a book store, some have been the result of seeing an exhibition, some are meant to inspire, while others are meant to inform. In any case: enjoy, learn, be undone.


First up is two truly unique Japanese photographers. I saw their joint exhibition in Paris last summer (2021) and they bring a whole new meaning to photojournalism and street photography. Shomei Tomatsu was born in 1930 and is mostly known for his images that depict the impact of World War II on Japan and the subsequent occupation of U.S. forces. He did some color but mostly black and white film. His photography is grainy, thought provoking and includes images of sex, street, post war, everyday life, protests, and more. He greatly inspired my work in Afghanistan and really challenged me to see different perspectives, not just in my photography but also daily life. 


The next photographer is Daido Moriyama who was born in 1938 and still living today. His photographs challenge the idea of what photography is. Often his images are blurred and grainy, out of focus and sometimes the viewer doesn’t even know what it is they are looking at. To quote his website, “[Moriyama]…known mostly for his work in black and white, his images often use high contrast and tilted horizons to convey the fragmentary nature of modern life.” His photographs are more of everyday life and street scenes but things people would most normally look past. He has a special way of making even garbage look beautiful and interesting. He Inspired some images I took in Provence last summer as I started the journey of changing my photographic style (that’s always been in me, but too afraid to actually do it).


To give a harsh juxtaposition to my last recommendation, this book titled “Saudi Arabia and Iran: Power and Rivalry in the Middle East” by Simon Mabon. This book is a very in-depth look at how the conflict between Saudi Arabia and Iran is, “at the heart of the current crises in the Middle East, manifesting in conflict in Syria and Yemen, along with deep social, political and economic tensions in Bahrain, Iraq and Lebanon.” In part, this is the book I go to for the understanding of “why” things are happening. Simon Mabon holds a PhD in International Relations from the University of Leeds. This book also covers basics of the difference between Sunni and Shia, brief histories of pretty much every war, brief history of Islam, how and why the Sunni and Shi’i split, soft vs. hard powers, and way way more. You’ll definitely need google by your side as I don’t know the half the words in it.


I especially value painting and artworks for inspiration. One of my recently discovered favorites is Francisco Goya. Goya was a Spanish romantic painter in the 17 and 1800’s and was considered one of the most important Spanish artists of the late 18th and 19th centuries. His paintings, drawings, and engravings reflected contemporary historical upheavals. AKA the OG “conflict photographer.” Goya stayed in Madrid when Napoleon led the French army into the Peninsula War against Spain. A lot of his work wasn’t published until after his death. His paintings depict many scenes including war, mental asylums, witches, religious and political corruption, and many others. I also paid attention to his captions of his work, which I thought was interesting. Often times it would be a picture of someone about to be hung and his caption was “For being born with one leg.” It was quite advanced level of thinking for someone from that time period. While others wanted to hang those who were different he put it in very simple terms which painted a picture that our differences are no reason to kill another. A lesson still no one gets today, even hundreds of years later.


This next one is a good reference guide for quick information, “How to Avoid Being Killed In a War Zone,” by Rosie Garthwait but has contributions from over 100 conflict reporters from all over the world. The title pretty much says it all, however, you should obviously take a first aid course or HEFAT training before going on your first assignment, this book offers some insightful anecdotes from reporters. What they learned from that experience and how it can help you. It covers things like tear gas and pepper spray tips during riots, medical kits, first aid basics, how to make a shelter in nature, online safety, pretty much briefs on anything you can think of. Rosie was a reporter for Al Jazeera for six years working in the Middle East. 


“A Woman in Arabia: The Writings of the Queen of the Desert” is a book about Gertrude Bell who played a major role in establishing the modern state of Iraq. She was an English woman born in 1868 and was an incredible writer, political officer, archeologist, and traveller. “She traveled in Syria-Palestine, Mesopotamia, Asia Minor, and Arabia. Along with T. E. Lawrence, Bell helped support the Hashemite dynasties in what is today Jordan as well as in Iraq.” This woman was the forefront of so many things such as woman’s suffrage, she was very into collecting seeds from different countries and was well known in Iraq for having the most beautiful garden. She spoke at least three different languages, was interested and played music. I could go on about how much this woman impacted today’s modern world. This book is important for information but also inspiration.


This next book was given to me by a friend who gifted me his original copies from his 20’s. He said they greatly inspired him when he was my age and I couldn’t agree more. One of my favorites, “Siddhartha” by Herman Hesse. A short fiction book of 152 pages that tells the story of a young man who leaves his family for a different life. He is restless and bored easily, until the end of the story where he is now an old man but just beginning his life. This book resonates with me a lot because it talks about Siddhartha’s journey to find peace. Something rarely attainable. It reminds you that great love is found in not only romantic relationships but friendships as well. “For a long time Siddhartha had lived the life of the world without belonging to it.” This sums up the lessons of the book quite well. It took me a few chapters to understand what was happening and to actually get into it, but in the end, it’s a book I always refer back to before I set off onto an adventure.


This book was the most surprising to me out of all of them, “Poetry of the Taliban.” It was something recommended I read before I travelled to Afghanistan. I skipped around parts of the book, reading poems that contrasted my idea of the Taliban in order to see different perspectives. To quote the summary, “Overlooked by many as mere propaganda, the poetry of the Afghan Taliban offers an unfettered insight… This collection of over two hundred poems draws upon Afghan tradition and the recent past…Unrequited love. Vengeance, the thrill of battle, religion and nationalism…” is all of what you’ll find when you pick this book up. The book has poems in a chapter called “Before September 11th” and they put the rest of the poems in other categories such as, “Human Cost,” “Religious,” etc. This book is a great one for picking up where you left off. Without the need of reading it from first to last page, it’s a great noncommittal book that still informs and educates. 


“City of Thorns: Nine Lives in the World’s Largest Refugee Camp” by Ben Rawlence is a book that tells the stories of nine refugees within the Dadaab refugee camp in Kenya. Ben Rawlence is a British writer that, “interweaves the stories of nine individuals to show what life is like in the camp and to sketch the wider political forces that keep the refugees trapped there.” I haven’t read through this book completely yet, as it is quite big, however it helps you to understand that refugees can’t “just leave” if the situation is bad. It is a huge eye opener for both people who support refugees and hopefully it has opened the eyes of those who didn’t formerly understand and support refugees. 


My final two books are ones I have not read yet, the first one being, “Things Fall Apart” by Chinua Achebe, who was a Nigerian author. This book is the first of three novels of his African Trilogy. To quote the summary, “It is a classic narrative about Africa’s cataclysmic encounter with Europe as it establishes a colonial presence on the continent.” The story is told through fictional experiences of an Igbo warrior in the late 1800s. 

The next book is, “The Face of War” by Martha Gellhorn. She was an American novelist, travel writer, and journalist who is considered one of the great war correspondents of the 20th century. She reported on virtually every major world conflict that took place during her 60-year career. She was married to the more well known, Ernest Hemingway, and the two had a highly tumultuous marriage as they both competed for headlines in reporting. This book is her accounts of what she witnessed. 


Afghanistan Resource & Information

As the U.S. troops pull out of Afghanistan, the Taliban have reclaimed the country. This has worsen the humanitarian crisis the country was in and has now pushed back over 20 years of progress for women’s rights. I just decided to collect all the information i have on Afghanistan because people want to help. Please correct me if any of these links are broken or lists need added to.

Afghan Activists & Pages

@Nee1o

@sincerelynooria

@arianadelawari

@afghansempowered

@shabnamnasimi

@maliha_z_art

@theafghan

Afghan Journalists

Find a twitter thread of all Afghan journalists reporting in afghanistan now: here

Quick History of Afghanistan, explained.

What is happening in afghanistan now?

What is happening to women?

What can you do to help?

Protest information

Reliable Places to donate to

Petitions

Letters to send to MP’s

Canada

Australia

General Letter template

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1SqfrVSlSsvi87BIGJ-OB5oiyLwwPQYbyV9cCpQpgIy0/mobilebasic

Information for afghans seeking asylum

reclaiming iraq

January 20, 2020, Baghdad, Iraq- Black smoke from burning tires rises at the frontlines of protests on Al-Qasim Express Highway

January 20, 2020, Baghdad, Iraq- Black smoke from burning tires rises at the frontlines of protests on Al-Qasim Express Highway

On October 1, 2019, protests erupted across Iraq calling out government officials for their corruption. The movement has attracted the younger generation of Iraqis desperate for change after the American invasion in 2003. The protests also highlighted unemployment rates, inefficient public services, and Iranian foreign influences in Iraq. As tensions began to escalate, protestors demanded the resignation of all government officials. On November 29th, Prime Minister Adil Abdul-Mahdi announced he was stepping down in hopes of putting an end to the protests, but this did little to deter people from continuing. From October 2nd to 8th, Iraqi authorities blocked most access to the internet, rendering social media and messaging apps that protesters and others relied on to communicate and document government abuses inaccessible. This was the first of many human rights violations that occurred throughout the timeline of the protests.

Since October, the Iraqi War Crimes Documentation Center has counted more than 600 deaths and over 25,000 injuries. All of these were sustained from anti-riot forces who have used live bullets, tear gas, pepper spray, hot water, and snipers during protests. The anti-riot forces have admitted in the past to using excessive forces during clashes. Little has changed in recent months, with human rights violations continuing into the present. One of the ways security forces hid illegal acts was by using military-grade tear gas canisters to kill. Several deaths evaluated by Amnesty International have shown that security forces were often shooting protestors point-blank in the skull or chest area. One person showed a video of a man who was shot in the back of his skull, and as he stumbled down the road, tear gas was flowing out of his mouth. He was pronounced dead on the spot. There have been reports of several different kinds of tear gas canisters being used, including Serbian and Iranian models, weighing five to ten times heavier than a regular police-grade canister. Examples of common injuries during the protests include asphyxiation from the tear gas, infected wounds from bullet holes, and burns from fires or premature/accidental explosions of Molotov cocktails.

After having applied for my visa in November, it got approved just before I left back to the states for christmas. This meant i needed to start planning the trip details as soon as possible. a journalist friend who i’d met in tunisia was in town, we got drinks at my local bar and i asked for recommendations on fixers since he had been to iraq before. he gave me a name and a number explaining, ‘he was the king of all fixers.’ hopefully this was true. i texted him about rates, story ideas, and what the security situation was like. i decided to take the chance and go, two days later, two french journalists were kidnapped and i had to rethink everything. at this point, it was just precautionary to think things through. I had a visa in my passport and i couldn’t let it go to waste. so i booked my flight, came up with story ideas, researched, and arranged my pick up at the airport.

the morning i woke up to catch my flight, i was full of different emotions. i was excited and nervous, but ready for this grand adventure. that feeling you get when you’re about to explore some place new, it never gets old. my descending flight into baghdad, was unfortunately at 1 am. best time because no is there? or worst time because no one is there? i had yet to decide that. I had befriended an iraqi man before getting on the plane who offered to let me use his phone to contact my fixer once i landed. about half way through the flight, this man gets up from his seat and runs to me, shouting and making a scene. Telling me not to go, that i will be kidnapped and killed, that my body would hang in tahrir square as a threat to all other americans who dared to go to iraq. he urged me to call the embassy as soon as i landed and get on a flight back home. naturally, my anxiety didn’t get better from that. but i kept telling myself that it would be fine. my empty hands had nothing to fiddle with and my heart rate was increasing by the minute, but then the man next to me pulled out a cologne bottle. it seemed familiar, as it turned, i read the label and it was the exact same one my brother has used for years. the name of it was always an inside joke between us. i took this as a sign i was going the right way. we landed, and after my visa got stamped for entry, i went to the toilets. they were decorated with bright yellow, fake flowers and had little butterflies stuck all over the walls. my mum’s nickname for me is “butterfly’ so i took this as a sign also. i had only told two people i was going to iraq, my best friend and my emergency contact, whom i’d share my days itinerary, location, check in calls/texts with in paris. this was for security reasons and also for my family to keep their sanity. it was a difficult decision, especially if there was anything that happened to me, but i knew it was the best one. and having these signs at the beginning of my trip, gave me more confidence.

baghdad airport bathroom

baghdad airport bathroom

i had picked a hotel as close to tahrir square as possible, as my plans to stay with an iraqi family fell through. it was cheap, it had running water, and wifi so i was good to go. when i arrived the staff was so warm and welcoming. the owner was an engineer and spoke english with me, the rest of the staff only spoke a bit of english but there were plenty of smiles exchanged. the lobby held a giant fish tank and even the tissue holders were bejeweled. eventually, my room. the walls were painted pink and micky mouse was on my garbage can. my fixer, haj, informed me that they probably gave me ‘the girl’s room’ because they mostly host businessmen from saudi arabia. the key to get in my room was so stiff, i immediately hoped there wouldn’t be a reason i’d need to get in quickly. haj stayed outside the door until he heard it lock and then texted me when he was downstairs that he was leaving.

four hours of rest later and we were starting our day early so i could see tahrir square for the first time. i had contacted the iraqi red crescent prior to arriving, asking if i could shadow them for a few days, documenting the work they did. they agreed and haj had set up a meeting for that morning with the director. at first it all seemed very formal, but then he asked for a selfie and it made me feel like i was accepted in some form. i thought this might be it, would it be too much to ask to ride along in ambulances or photograph them treating people? if there’s anything i’ve learned, it’s that you should always ask. they said yes, anytime. and after that, checking in with them everyday was starting to be a routine. haj and i would end our days sitting with them waiting for the ambulance to be called or for someone to come in. most days, nothing happened, and we all sat around drinking tea and getting to know each other until night fall. other nights, injuries would come in and the ambulance would be called out. we sometimes made our way close to the frontlines where tuk tuks would bring bodies to receive medical assistance. tuk tuk drivers held a certain weight around tahrir square. they were the ones going to the frontlines and bringing the injured to ambulances. often times risking their own lives to save others. they had loud horns, which would honk desperately anytime they had an injured person in the back. watching red crescent volunteers immediately wince and turn their heads at the horns, they had a system down to retrieve people from the three wheeled taxis. at night clashes were the worst, and working in the dark is even more difficult. only operating by phone flashlights and the small car lights.



January 20, 2020, Baghdad, Iraq- A protestor suffers from asphyxiation due to tear gas.

January 20, 2020, Baghdad, Iraq- A protestor suffers from asphyxiation due to tear gas.

january 16, 2020, Baghdad, Iraq- A protestor holds out a tear gas canister that he took from a security force personnel.

january 16, 2020, Baghdad, Iraq- A protestor holds out a tear gas canister that he took from a security force personnel.

January 25, 2020, Baghdad, Iraq- A protestor loads his pockets up with molotov cocktails to throw at anti-riot forces.

January 25, 2020, Baghdad, Iraq- A protestor loads his pockets up with molotov cocktails to throw at anti-riot forces.


As you walk through Tahrir Square two things are noticeable: a large clump of Iraqi flags formed in the shape of a Christmas tree and a 14 story cement building. This cement building is an empty car garage that was nicknamed the “Turkish Restaurant” amongst the public. Tucked between the Tigris River and Tahrir Square, it has become a symbol of the movement since protestors overtook it from security forces who were using it to station snipers. Offering panoramic views, to the left of Al-Jumhuriya Bridge you can see a barricade that separates the protestors from the anti-riot forces on the right.


January 18, 2020- A young man sits on the top of the 14 story building which was nicknamed the “Turkish Restaurant.” To the left of Al-Jumhuriya Bridge you can see a barricade that separates the protestors from the anti-riot forces on the right.

January 18, 2020- A young man sits on the top of the 14 story building which was nicknamed the “Turkish Restaurant.” To the left of Al-Jumhuriya Bridge you can see a barricade that separates the protestors from the anti-riot forces on the right.


Many protestors live in the Turkish Restaurant, surviving with the bare necessities of fleece blankets, homemade mattress pads, and the occasional ration of food and water. The public cleaning services stopped tending to the protest area due to numerous death threats from the security forces. You can physically smell the consequences of this and navigating your way through the empty water bottles, food containers, and sewage is difficult to do. Most don’t live in these conditions because they want to, but because they were forced to choose between living and dying. People who leave the protest area risked being kidnapped by Iran backed militias, who often searched phones for proof they’ve been in Tahrir Square. Militias even surveyed social media posts to specifically target those who chose to express their participation. Many men and women came from other cities such as Basra and Najaf to show their support and join their friends living in Baghdad, knowing they may be separated from their families for long periods.


January 16, 2020, baghdad, iraq- The turkish restaurant.

January 16, 2020, baghdad, iraq- The turkish restaurant.

january 16, 2020, baghdad, iraq- the outside of abdul and his friend’s house inside the turkish restaurant.

january 16, 2020, baghdad, iraq- the outside of abdul and his friend’s house inside the turkish restaurant.

January 16, 2020, baghdad, iraq- trash surrounding the protest area. with graffiti in the background saying, "‘the poor people are the victim of all the military and political ways.’

January 16, 2020, baghdad, iraq- trash surrounding the protest area. with graffiti in the background saying, "‘the poor people are the victim of all the military and political ways.’


lack of cleaning services is also the cause of more problems residents face. such as illnesses due to the large amounts of bacteria, contaminated areas where food is prepared and stored, and relatively simple things are regarded as life-threatening. on January 18th, there was a small fire in the turkish restaurant. some residence blamed it on a cigarette, others said it was from a molotov cocktail accidentally exploding. the fire climbed two stories, leaving homes of protestors destroyed and third-degree burns on those who couldn’t escape quick enough. the turkish restaurant only contains stairs and often times little to no light up them, making it difficult for rescue services to reach them. while rescue services navigate the dimly lit hallways, sewage, and trash, they must watch closely for random holes in the floor that if fallen in, can result in serious injury or even death.

January 16, 2020, baghdad, iraq- a protestor, Abdul (name changed for security reasons) sits in his “home” inside the turkish restaurant.

January 16, 2020, baghdad, iraq- a protestor, Abdul (name changed for security reasons) sits in his “home” inside the turkish restaurant.

january 18, 2020, baghdad, iraq- a protestor living in the turkish restaurant takes a moment to have fun on a homemade swing.

january 18, 2020, baghdad, iraq- a protestor living in the turkish restaurant takes a moment to have fun on a homemade swing.

january 18, 2020, baghdad, iraq- a view of tahrir square.

january 18, 2020, baghdad, iraq- a view of tahrir square.

january 16, 2020, baghdad, iraq- a protestor walks in the staircase of the turkish restaurant, in the background is an image of a man gone missing and a number people can call if they’re found.

january 16, 2020, baghdad, iraq- a protestor walks in the staircase of the turkish restaurant, in the background is an image of a man gone missing and a number people can call if they’re found.


Protestors aren’t the only ones receiving life-threatening backlash for their involvement, but also medical personnel and journalists. One of many, a journalist, Youssef Sattar, was killed instantly by live fire while covering clashes in January. A few weeks before Sattar’s death, a young man living in the Turkish Restaurant claims that a volunteer medic who had treated him for previous injuries was kidnapped, raped, and burned alive. These and more stories like it become familiar while exploring Tahrir Square. Fading pictures are plastered up against the sides of buildings showing young boys and girls who have lost their lives or gone missing during the protests. Below the portrait of them smiling or dressed in their high school soccer uniform is a number you can call if you see them. 


january 15, 2020, Baghdad, Iraq- A small shrine set up for those who have lost their lives during the protests.

january 15, 2020, Baghdad, Iraq- A small shrine set up for those who have lost their lives during the protests.

january 30, 2020, baghdad, iraq- protestors carry a prop coffin symbolizing their friend who died during clashes that day with security forces.

january 30, 2020, baghdad, iraq- protestors carry a prop coffin symbolizing their friend who died during clashes that day with security forces.


Spanning about two kilometers in length, the protest area is secured by blast walls on either end with Iraqi police doing routine checks for weapons. As you walk down the street to Tahrir Square, you can see shops with their doors open, people with large carts selling coats, tea kettles, and phone cases for unusually low prices. Occasionally, a man selling cotton candy can be seen wandering around the square, temporary medical stands with free access to ibuprofen, gauze, and other basic medicine, lines the streets every few meters, tuk-tuks weave in and out of what seems like empty streets now. After over 110 days of protests, the movement has lost heat, according to the Iraqi Red Crescent who have a tent in Tahrir Square. During the start of protests in October, they didn’t even have time to light a cigarette. The tents suffered from overcrowding and they often would work long shifts, many of them being volunteers. Now they sit quietly waiting to receive a call. The streets have been drained, and they say that the protests will probably end soon because the rest of the world has forgotten. They each chain smoke cigarettes they now have time to light. in their spare time, the volunteer medics give free trainings to protestors on how to handle choking, asphyxiation, stop bleeding wounds, etc.


january 21, 2020, baghdad, iraq- a man suffering from broken ribs is helped onto a stretcher to be taken to the hospital.

january 21, 2020, baghdad, iraq- a man suffering from broken ribs is helped onto a stretcher to be taken to the hospital.

january 16, 2020, baghdad, iraq- protestors watch the medic teach them how to do cpr.

january 16, 2020, baghdad, iraq- protestors watch the medic teach them how to do cpr.

january 16, 2020, baghdad, iraq- protesters take a class from the red crescent about how to give basic medical assistance.

january 16, 2020, baghdad, iraq- protesters take a class from the red crescent about how to give basic medical assistance.

january 23, 2020, baghdad, iraq- basic medical supplies at the red crescent tent for protestors to take.

january 23, 2020, baghdad, iraq- basic medical supplies at the red crescent tent for protestors to take.


The silence breaks while the government ignores the protestor’s demands and large tires are loaded in tuk-tuks to be burned at the frontlines. Their anger is transparent while they chant among the streets, making their presence known again but the government fails to listen. Fires erupt and thick black smoke occupies every inch of the sky.


January 22, 2020, Baghdad, Iraq- Protestors march through Tahrir Square demanding that anti-riot forces release their friends after recent arrests had been made.

January 22, 2020, Baghdad, Iraq- Protestors march through Tahrir Square demanding that anti-riot forces release their friends after recent arrests had been made.

January 20, 2020, Baghdad, Iraq- Three protestors load tires on a tuk tuk, a three wheeled taxi, to bring to the frontlines.

January 20, 2020, Baghdad, Iraq- Three protestors load tires on a tuk tuk, a three wheeled taxi, to bring to the frontlines.

january 25, 2020, baghdad, iraq- a protestor receives treatment for asphyxiation during clashes with security forces.

january 25, 2020, baghdad, iraq- a protestor receives treatment for asphyxiation during clashes with security forces.

January 25, 2020, baghdad, iraq- a man holds out a bullet that was reportedly shot at protestors by security forces.

January 25, 2020, baghdad, iraq- a man holds out a bullet that was reportedly shot at protestors by security forces.


Bullets echo, eventually fading into the rest of the background noise and the life around is contrastingly happening at a normal pace. A man takes a nap on the street and kids are playing, large pots of rice are stirred and afternoon tea is served right on time. That night, the escalations continue and casualty reports come in higher than they have been since October.


january 30, 2020, baghdad, iraq- protestors line up in tahrir square to receive dinner.

january 30, 2020, baghdad, iraq- protestors line up in tahrir square to receive dinner.

January 22, 2020, Baghdad, Iraq- Three Iraqi policemen keep warm by a small fire during their shift. Behind them are the cement walls used to secure the protest area where pat downs and bag checks take place before entering.

January 22, 2020, Baghdad, Iraq- Three Iraqi policemen keep warm by a small fire during their shift. Behind them are the cement walls used to secure the protest area where pat downs and bag checks take place before entering.

january 30, 2020, baghdad, iraq- men stir large pots of rice in tahrir square to serve to protestors.

january 30, 2020, baghdad, iraq- men stir large pots of rice in tahrir square to serve to protestors.

January 18, 2020, Baghdad, Iraq- A woman on the top floor of the Turkish Restaurant walks past a pile of bricks. These bricks used to resemble an extension of the building, but was torn down for protestors to use the bricks for projectiles to launch…

January 18, 2020, Baghdad, Iraq- A woman on the top floor of the Turkish Restaurant walks past a pile of bricks. These bricks used to resemble an extension of the building, but was torn down for protestors to use the bricks for projectiles to launch at security forces via a homemade slingshot.

On February 1, 2020, Mohammed Allawi was appointed as the new Prime Minister. This change did little to ease the minds of demonstrators because of Allawi’s involvement in Iraq’s politics during the invasion. Demonstrators were determined to overthrow all political leaders who had previous ties with Iran. Though his position caused more upheaval, Allwai gained the approval of a majority ruling Shia leader, Muqtada al-Sadr, of whom many protestors are devout followers. Sadr called for a “million-man march” to protest the American troops in Iraq. At this march, he criticized the youth-led protests and asked those who followed him to pull out. Just a few hours later, Tahrir Square was emptied of Sadrists, proving their loyalty. This created internal divisions within the movement, and security forces took advantage of the weaker numbers and infiltrated Tahrir Square in hopes of ending the protests.

January 23, 2020, Baghdad, Iraq- Supporters of Shiite cleric Muqtada al-Sadr gather to protest the presence of the U.S. in Iraq.

January 23, 2020, Baghdad, Iraq- Supporters of Shiite cleric Muqtada al-Sadr gather to protest the presence of the U.S. in Iraq.

January 23, 2020, Baghdad, Iraq- Members of the Sadrist movement stomp on U.S. and Israeli flags.

January 23, 2020, Baghdad, Iraq- Members of the Sadrist movement stomp on U.S. and Israeli flags.

anuary 23, 2020, Baghdad, Iraq- A woman in support of Al Sadr calls for the presence of American forces to leave Iraq.

anuary 23, 2020, Baghdad, Iraq- A woman in support of Al Sadr calls for the presence of American forces to leave Iraq.

Just a few hundred meters from the frontlines, life outside of them went on. Families still went to evening prayers at the mosques, people went to cafes for tea and browsed the book markets, and couples sat alongside the Tigris River for a romantic date. Despite the multiple wars the country has endured and continues too, these peaceful scenes are an example of what Iraqi youths are setting to achieve for their country as a whole. Presently, the protests have suspended due to the outbreak of COVID-19, so the future is unknown. The impact of the demonstrations, however, has made history by demanding a better way of life for Iraq and the next generation.

January 22, 2020, Baghdad, Iraq- An old man walks along a road that was previously a site of clashes until protestors moved security forces back just over 100 meters away.

January 22, 2020, Baghdad, Iraq- An old man walks along a road that was previously a site of clashes until protestors moved security forces back just over 100 meters away.

January 17, 2020, Baghdad, Iraq- A man selling prayer beads on Almutanabi Street.

January 17, 2020, Baghdad, Iraq- A man selling prayer beads on Almutanabi Street.

January 16, 2020, Baghdad, Iraq- A little girl who lives in Tahrir Square with her family plays with her friends on a homemade swing.

January 16, 2020, Baghdad, Iraq- A little girl who lives in Tahrir Square with her family plays with her friends on a homemade swing.

January 25, 2020, Baghdad, Iraq- A boy points his toy gun at his mother in a grocery store.

January 25, 2020, Baghdad, Iraq- A boy points his toy gun at his mother in a grocery store.

Share

Injured Libyan Soldiers, Tunisia

august 22nd, 2019 tunis, tunisia

“it’s my third day. tunisia is hot and sticky. the people are quite friendly. maybe in a good way. maybe they are too friendly. i’m always skeptical of people when they are nice and hate them when they are rude. i’m not too sure what i expect from this trip. clarity? on what though. it’s interesting how when i am at home nothing seems beautiful. it’s all so bland. everything is normal. but when i travel, even the most simple things are a miracle. the way a light flickers, laundry drying in the sun, someone smoking a cigarette, the way run down buildings still seem colorful as if everything holds a light. maybe this is just tunisia. maybe this is just tunis. maybe this is just north africa. maybe this is just my mind. even the birds seem more free here.”

booking my flight was very last minute and also a one way ticket. i didn’t even know where i was going to sleep. but it would be a great way to start making contacts for libya (if they ever give me a visa), and start doing stories about the impact of the conflict. these photos wouldn’t be breaking news. they aren’t going to win any awards. and they most likely will never be published. forever gracing my instagram feed and blog. most of my time was spent waiting. waiting for someone to email me back, text me, tell me they knew someone. when i go on assignment i always feel like if i’m not taking a picture, i’m wasting my time. of course, this isn’t true. making connections and hearing what people have to say is the biggest (and most important) part of the job.

libya’s conflict is extremely complicated, and one that is multifaceted. since april, i have been immersed in articles, reports, infographics, studying libya’s situation and history. speaking with fighters from the gna, with people who grew up on the frontlines as kids, from experts and researchers. obviously, i don’t know everything, i have a lot to discover and learn, and a large part of that will come if/when i go to libya. writing about a country i have never been to, is new for me and something i am actually a little uncomfortable with. but with the stories i have put together from tunisia, i think it is important in this first blog post to let people understand the conflict and be able to piece together their own opinion. i’m putting the research all in one place so you don’t have to spend hours (which you wouldn’t anyways) trying to understand what the fuck is happening and why. so for now, here are some anecdotes, some facts, and some sarcasm.

Circled in red on the left is the capital where haftar is trying to seize control of. circled to the right is the third largest city in libya, that is mentioned in some of these stories.

Circled in red on the left is the capital where haftar is trying to seize control of. circled to the right is the third largest city in libya, that is mentioned in some of these stories.

Circled in red on the bottom right is where ismael’s story takes place. circled in red on the top left is where the fighters are currently. To give perspective, I have included where libya and tunisia are in regards to italy.

Circled in red on the bottom right is where ismael’s story takes place. circled in red on the top left is where the fighters are currently. To give perspective, I have included where libya and tunisia are in regards to italy.

Synopsis on the conflict in Libya

Field Marshal Khalifa Haftar is a Libyan-American citizen who has fought with and against nearly every significant faction in Libya’s conflicts and lived nearly two decades in Langley, Virginia. In 2011, he returned to Libya, providing a senior role in overthrowing the then-dictator, Muammar Gaddafi. On April 4, 2019, Haftar launched an offensive to take over the capital, Tripoli, with his self-styled military known as the Libyan National Army (LNA). Haftar’s ultimate goal is to seize control of the country. The Government National Accord (GNA) has been fighting to keep Haftar out of the capital and since his advances, they've been successful in pushing him back and holding their lines. the United Nations Office for the Coordination of Humanitarian Affairs (Ocha) has stopped keeping track of deaths since july 2019. the last known number of casualties was around more than 1,000 people. the U.s., france, uae, egypt, and saudi arabia are backing haftar’s offensive and turkey and qatar are the main supporters of the un-backed government (International Crisis Group. (2019). Avoiding a Protracted Conflict in Libya. Retrieved from https://www.crisisgroup.org/middle-east-north-africa/north-africa/libya/avoiding-protracted-conflict-libya).

since i have spoke about going to libya, people have asked,

‘why libya? do you know what’s happening there? do you know anyone? what could interest you there?”

i mean, asking me if i know what’s happening is a stupid question. but what originally sparked my interest was the elections that were planned on being held in june. due to haftar’s offensive in april, the elections were postponed. here are some questions i am asking myself:

  1. how much longer will this conflict last?

  2. how can they establish a free and fair election?

  3. how does conflict impact political and electoral processes?

  4. and most of all, how do these affect socioeconomic issues within libya? i.e. education, medical facilitation and supplies, water and sanitation, etc.

highlighted in orange the statistics talked about to the left.

highlighted in orange the statistics talked about to the left.

let’s dive into more statistics regarding these issues.

  • education

    according to the ocha, the Number of school aged children (girls & boys) in need of education services are 72,000. and the number of school aged children (girls & boys) accessing formal/non-formal education services are 3,000 (OCHA. (2019). Libya 2019 Humanitarian Dashboard. Retrieved from https://reliefweb.int/sites/reliefweb.int/files/resources/Humanitarian-Dashboard_-(Jan-Jun)-v2.0-30July2019_Final.pdf).

  • health

    the world health organization (who) the ocha reported that 144,000 people were in need of health related assistance in may 2019, of which this number has severely inclined. a total of 60,000 had been targeted with funding of $2.8 million USD needed to complete four main priorities (OCHA/WHO. (2019). Flash Appeal Funding Requirement Tripoli. Retrieved from https://www.humanitarianresponse.info/en/operations/libya/document/ocha-libya-tripoli-clashes-flash-appeal-april). These include:

    1. Deployment of Emergency Medical Teams.

    2. Procurement and distribution of emergency medical supplies and equipment.

    3. Provision of Primary health care (PHC) services package to migrants in detention centres.

    4. treatment of severe malnutrition.

  • water, sanitation and hygiene (wash)

    around $9.7 million usd is needed to complete provision of life-saving wash services to conflict-affected persons. so far, only $400,000 usd has been funded (Financial Tracking Service. (2019). Retrieved from https://fts.unocha.org/appeals/712/flows?f[0]=destinationClusterIdName:"4494:WASH").

  • refugees, immigrants, asylum seekers, and internally displaced persons (idp)

    in july 2019, The United Nations High Commissioner for Refugees (uhcr) released a report that stated around 6,000 individual refugees and 45,000 asylum-seekers are in libya (UNHCR. (2019). Libya: Registration - Fact sheet July 2019. Retrieved from https://data2.unhcr.org/en/documents/details/70740). for those unfamiliar with the difference between these terms please read below:

    • refugee: “a person who has fled their country of origin and is unable or unwilling to return because of a well-founded fear of being persecuted because of their race, religion, nationality, membership of a particular social group or political opinion.”

    • asylum seeker: “an individual who is seeking international protection. In countries with individualised procedures, an asylum seeker is someone whose claim has not yet been finally decided on by the country in which he or she has submitted it. Not every asylum seeker will ultimately be recognised as a refugee, but every refugee is initially an asylum seeker.”

    • immigrant: “a person who comes to live permanently in a foreign country.”

    • idp: “Those persons forced or obliged to flee from their homes, in particular as a result of or in order to avoid the effects of armed conflicts, situations of generalized violence, violations of human rights or natural or human-made disasters, and who have not crossed an internationally recognized State border.”

      (UN High Commissioner for Refugees (UNHCR), UNHCR Master Glossary of Terms, June 2006, Rev.1, available at: https://www.refworld.org/docid/42ce7d444.html [accessed 13 September 2019])

alright. enough of the facts and statistics, let’s get to the stories.

Ismael (32, his name changed for security purposes) was a fighter with the GNA in Libya.

Ismael (32, his name changed for security purposes) was a fighter with the GNA in Libya.

august 20th, 2019

posing for a picture here is ismael (32, his name changed for security purposes) was a fighter with the gna in libya. in january 2019, he received a call from a contact in misrata, a city in the northwest of libya (see above map), telling him haftar was planning an attack on tripoli, and they were gathering forces to oppose him. since fighting is his profession, it could’ve been just as easy for him to fight with the lna. his motive to fight for the gna was to oppose a militaristic ruling throughout libya. during the last day of ramadan, just before the muslim holiday eid, he and two of his colleagues were on the roof of a four-story building firing at the lna. despite the cease-fire both parties agreed on during eid, clashes were heavy that day. his ammunition was running low and he started to slow down his firing. as this happened, the lna fired back and hit the roof ismael was on, resulting in the death of his two colleagues. the gna forces eventually withdrew, concluding all three of them were dead and the lna forces advanced. when the gna fired back, it enabled them to collect the dead bodies. in doing so, they realized ismael was alive and brought him to a field hospital. he then regained consciousness in a hospital in tripoli. the injuries he sustained were a blow out to the left eardrum, two pieces of shrapnel on the left side of his neck, and internal abdominal injuries. only one piece of shrapnel was removed despite being in a clinic in tunis for two months, the other is still lodged in. he has been flown to germany to receive proper treatment. when asked if he was going to resume fighting after healing, he said,

“he didn’t want to because he felt the government wasn’t taking proper care of their forces.”

the fighter was a small guy. older than i was expecting. 32 to be exact. he told me two of his colleagues were killed when he got injured. he said this without batting an eye, and that is the scariest for me. at first he was quite hesitant towards me. maybe the eye contact was too much. or maybe not enough. we sat for hours as i watched him smoke one cigarette after the other. finishing the pack by the end of the night. it started to rain and i could feel the drops of water land coldly amongst my skin. a relief in the humid weather. i took a step out of my body and observed this kind of ironic scene: a hardened fighter enjoying apple juice and cookies. it’s the simple things. the rain started falling harder and one by one we each moved under the porch. except for him. he said he enjoyed the rain. the interview is recorded on my phone and he asked me not to share it with anyone. i liked the idea of being the only one who can listen. it’s his story that he shared with me, and i’m selfishly keeping it that way. no one else can hear his voice talk about his personal experiences. the way his voice fluctuates as he speaks. the breaks he takes in between puffs of cigarettes. i can tell his story on paper, share his words. but no one else, besides the three other men with me, will know what he looked like as he recounted the story of losing his colleagues. of that first moment when he received a call to join the gna forces. or his soft smile when the apple juice was poured in his cup. only one picture turned out good. the one where he has leaves covering his face and it showed two scars and one freckle. two scars that if you didn’t know the story behind them, they wouldn’t mean anything to you. it makes me wonder how many people’s stories i am passing by everyday. during our interview it was dark. there were many mosquitos and my mind was happily focused on the cacophony of libyan arabic being sung in the air around me. i was enveloped in a bubble where i felt fulfilled. this was it. i am content. sipping our apple juice, i didn’t know what was being said, but i laughed whole-heartedly because i loved hearing their laughter. if that is any hint that i’m in the right profession, i’m taking it.

Abdulaziz (24) poses to show his scar.

Abdulaziz (24) poses to show his scar.

ahmed (24) poses for a portrait to show his injuries.

ahmed (24) poses for a portrait to show his injuries.

Abdulaziz (24) poses for a portrait.

Abdulaziz (24) poses for a portrait.

ahmed (24) poses for a portrait.

ahmed (24) poses for a portrait.

ahmed (24) poses for a portrait.

ahmed (24) poses for a portrait.

August 26th, 2019

Abdulaziz and ahmed (names changed for security purposes) i met at a restaurant in downtown Tunis. i seemed stiff when asking questions. i felt rigid. almost like my body didn’t completely know what to do with itself. I had done this once, interviewed people more times than i can count. so what was different this time? was it the fact that there were two instead of one? it went as it always goes when you talk to someone for the first time. a little awkward at first. but slowly each person became a little more comfortable. was it the fact that they spoke a tiny bit of english? we were all close to the same age. of course, me taking the title of the youngest in the group. i guess it showed the differences in all of us, how we are a product of the environment we grow up in. comparing our lives in both similarities and differences. unlike ismael, these two were volunteer fighters. they were fighting 1. because their mothers told them to and 2. because they were passionate about keeping haftar out of the capital. they both are dentists and grew up splitting their time in 2011 between studies and the frontlines. and now that they are older, between cleaning teeth and the frontlines. after the interview was over i was told to start taking pictures. i look around, it’s dark, nothing but buildings and people walking by. I asked for a few minutes to figure things out and see where i could take these portraits. across the road was some abandoned alleyway with one street light on, scattered around were empty plastic bottles and some half-dead plants. with ismael’s portrait, i had plants covering his face. i decided to stick with the plant theme and made it a detail in this series. almost loving this contradiction of soft, pink flowers with hardened fighters. the more i examined this small series of pictures, the more i had time to think about what the flowers represented. maybe that every person has a side to them that is vulnerable and fragile, no matter who you are or what you do. or maybe it means absolutely fuck all and you just like flowers.


Abdulaziz alGweiry (24) is an injured Libyan soldier with the GNA currently receiving medical care for his injuries while fighting against Haftar in Libya. In June 2019, during clashes, the LNA launched an airstrike that took out a civilian-populated building. Abdulaziz, ahmed, and other GNA soldiers were helping the evacuation of people from the rubble. The LNA intentionally shelled this location again knowing the GNA soldiers would be there. It was during this airstrike that Abdulaziz and ahmed were injured ( and his colleague had lost his life.


what goes in my carry on

something i have always struggled with is what i should put in my carry on. it always feels like i over pack or don’t pack enough. however, i have finally found what works for me and to provide exactly what i need during those long flights.

first, the bag i put all of it in is a black bag that has gortex zippers and a separate compartment on the bottom for my camera and an extra lens. In the top compartment, is a padded space for an ipad or computer. there is a side zipper for passports, headphones, etc. on top of the bag is a phone pocket for spare change, chapstick, and a phone. the different compartments for my camera gear is the best part because i can easily access everything when going through the security line. i bought it on amazon two years ago, but can’t seem to find it specifically on their website anymore.

IMG_1705.JPG


electronics

first of all i have my 11 inch mac book air. this is the best computer if you are a frequent traveller because it is so lightweight. i use pure gear bluetooth headphones, they come with different ear pieces to fit your ears, they charge in less than 10 minutes, and their battery life is exceptional. I also have a standard pair of headphones, so when i board the plane, i don’t have to use the headphones the airline provides. to charge the headphones i use this micro-usb cord that is very long and the package comes with at least four extra cords. i always have at least two iphone charging cables, because, let’s be honest, they never work when you need them to. these cables are longer than the normal ones, which is very helpful. staying with the charging theme, i carry a portable charger, just in case you’re out on the curb waiting for your uber and your phone decides to take a nap. depending on what country you are going to, you’ll want to carry the specific converter outlet. i always keep several different ones, just in case. these include a british, europe, and a multi-usb american one.


makeup/beauty

this is the most essential part of my carry-on, because when i feel better about how i look, i feel better about my cancelled flight or 13-hour layover. it’s also important to have these items in your carry-on in case your luggage gets lost or mishandled, this way you have basic stuff to keep you going until your luggage arrives. having contacts is far from convenient, but even more so while flying. even if you don’t have contacts, your eyes get extremely dry, so make sure to pick up some eye drops or saline solution. my chosen brand is biotrue because it is actually made to replicate your eye juices (is that a term??) I also carry two extra contacts, and a case. make sure all liquid things you have are under 3.4 oz otherwise you’ll have to throw them away before going through security. nothing feels better than brushing your teeth after traveling for so long, grab a small tooth brush and paste to stick in your bag. concealer is definitely a life saver when you’re trying to combat dark circles after a long flight. my go to concealer is by the nars brand, it blends perfectly with my skin and doesn’t cake on either, i use this with a standard brush or sponge. i also bring along mac mascara, and a compact mirror/powder from maybelline. if you’re on an overnight flight, it is essential to have makeup remover/refreshing wipes from NO7, combine this with no7’s daily scrub and you’ll have glowing skin. i use tom’s deodorant because it doesn’t have aluminum or harsh chemicals in it, snag a few sample perfume bottles of your favorite fragrance and you’re set in the smell department. throw in some of these hair-ties because it is practically impossible for your hair to get tangled with them. and finally, as a woman, it’s always important to carry a couple tampons and summer’s eve cleansing cloths (for when you can’t get a shower in!)

IMG_1707.JPG

odds & ends

i always have some sort of travel journal with me, i typically use moleskin journals, unruled. but depending on what you prefer here is the ruled books, and a couple fountain pens for all the writing you will do. If there is one thing i’ve always been thankful for in my travels, it’s that i wrote about what was happening so i can remember the small details..an amazing meal, what the hotel smelled like, the great art museum you found accidentally. you will always need your passport, some exrra cash for coffee or a cab, your wallet that includes: insurance cards, social security number, an extra passport photo, credit cards, and your driver’s license. i wear a giant sweater because airplanes are cold, and i stuff an extra pair of underwear and socks to change when i land. while at airports, you encounter lots of germs and airplane food is sketchy. I bring along travel ibuprofen, pepto bismol tablets, and some vitamin c.

IMG_1709.JPG

Kenya's Silent Crisis

On March 10th, 2018, Ethiopian citizens witnessed 13 innocent people get murdered by their own police. In August of 2017, Ethiopia lifted a 10-month state of emergency. Since the Prime Minister, Hailemariam Desalegn, stepped down from his position in February of this year, Ethiopia has reclaimed a state of emergency. For those unfamiliar with what this means it is, “A situation of natural danger in which a government suspends normal constitutional procedures in order to introduce special measures such as increased powers for police or army.” 

Read More